The Wind, a Walk, the Spirit, a Sabbath

Some how, inexplicably, my house went quiet- all my little kids were gone. They had ended up going here and there with whomever. Beauty beckoned me out of my bedroom and into the humming expectancy of spring. Baby grandson was slung tight against my heart, dog close and loose, I slipped out of quiet. Though I usually run, head down watching, I walked and wondered. Baby squiggled and fussed and I murmured Granny sounds against his head. I chafe, often, against rest and contemplation, but I stopped today. I heard the sound of the wind. It rubbed, whispering, in my ears and called me to behold.

the sun

the texture of trees

the language of the birds

the bursts of color

The wind

I can’t see it, but I see it’s power-  it makes bushes sing, buoys up flight, ruffles the brook, bows the grass, wears away edges.

God calls me to remember One I can not see

“The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:8

Lord, let me trust You moving me, prodding and pushing. Let me not buckle when Your storms snap my dead branches. Let me hear You whisper in my heart and follow the call to obey regardless of the task- pouring kindness on anger, understanding on the fallen, grace on the offensive, healing on the broken. Help me not not run when You wear away my edges- smoothing and shaping my soul. Let me always remember that You are the Lord of the Storm and I am safe in Your love. Lift my head from my feet and my desperate struggle to keep from falling and Look Up to the Son and feel You sing over me. I praise You for  the Sabbath rest. I long for the last day that I weep. The last day fear defeats me. The last day I beg for strength to believe in Your love. The last day of this veil.




The Embrace of a Friend

A sigh


so many years struggle swiftly by.

A tense, tightened soul

untwists from love

from laughs

and tales, trials

from lingering moments being women together.

Cascading memories

of fussing and men

and so many babies

and the devastations of disappointments

and dreams dashed and dreams dawned

worship and work

for the One Who Gives Hope.

Faces set like flint to enjoy this road

having stumbled, broken and bent up it’s mountains

and lain in the darkness, bereft in it’s valleys.

Joy flooding hearts

triumphs, lessons learned

tentative maturity together

whispered secrets, well-loved lives.

A sigh


so many years

struggle swiftly by.

The embrace of a friend.




Sometimes, … I just can’t

Remind me Lord, what I’m needing to remember when

I can’t do those dishes- I stood there, in the kitchen today and picked a chicken carcass and made dinner and served dinner, and now, I can’t…

I can’t fold those clothes- I washed them and dried them, a few batches, and now, I can’t…

I can’t sweep those steps- I see the piles of hair and whatnot, but now, I can’t..

I can’t finish the paperwork or the curtains half hung or the counter with I-don’t-know-what-on-it or put up the painting I got or send another email, now I can’t…

Lord! I can’t remember what I’m supposed to remember when all I feel is “I can’t” and all I see is “I didn’t”

Oh… am I looking at the wrong things? Do I have it all wrong-side up?

I taught today…

I listened today…

I laughed today…

I counseled today…

I nourished today and clothed and admonished and repented and served

Lord, all I seem to see are tasks left undone and all You seem to see are people-

people to be loved and served and listened to and counseled

Thank you God for my people and thank you for reminding me.

Taking boys out into public

I have six sons. six            10262129_10202272856122124_209359669650764212_n

Last week I took 5 of them with me to Cheyenne’s soccer game.

The oldest son, Wesley was on his honeymoon.


For the entire game, my boys wrestled, yelled, and generally caused all kinds of mayhem. The 3 younger boys, Vaughn 10, Kade 9, and Rafe 8, would not stop jumping on the older two boys. So they got roughed up for over 2 hours. There was yelling and lots of squealing from the 4 yo Felicity because the boys tickled her, threw her around, and took her toys. They did play football for a while, have foot races and do flips, but most of the time was spent roughhousing. My 6 yo old Brooklyn sat with other little girls and made bracelets and talked.

Now, after about an hour of being in the middle of WW3, wondering if we were getting on everyone’s nerves with all the commotion, I started to wish they all would sit down and be quiet. I mean really?! DO they have to be so crazy the whole game?1907285_10202272868162425_7488994650016649712_n(1)

I got to thinking,”Would I prefer that they sit and play video games? look at their phone? Do I want sons that are quiet and just sit?” Now maybe you have one like that. Fine. But mine aren’t and my girliness wanted them to stop being such BOYS.

But I stopped worrying about the people around me, sort of. I tried to keep the noise to a dull roar

I just relaxed and

watched all the love swirl around me

watched the laughter fall from their mouths

felt the heat of their exuberance as they pressed against me from every side

felt the pressure of my momma’s love as I saw their feats of strength

I praised God for their male-ness

their intensity, the power of their varying shapes and shades

their desire to challenge, push, rebel, show off

I kept my mouth shut that day, praise God.

And a week later, at the same field, a lady came to me and told how how wonderful it was to watch my family. She said that she saw such love and fun and kindness among my children.

Wow. And here I was going to tell them all to sit still and hush.10599245_10152578182685690_2926060326619781068_n11403104_10205197295471280_7007817157862282857_n

To my son on the night before your wedding

Every mother dreams of her baby’s future…


I dreamt that you would grow to be strong and beautiful

I dreamt that you would love the Lord with all your heart, mind, and strength

I dreamt that you would be close to your family and consider them your best friends

I dreamt that you would love to read and that you’d avail yourself of the wisdom of  the ages, but especially love to read the Word of God

I dreamt that you would love the local church and make serving there and fellowshipping a priority

I dreamt that you would live by faith- following Jesus Jesus no matter the cost

I dreamt that you would discover your God-given talents and passions and find a way to use them to honor God and serve others

I dreamt that you would find hobbies that you enjoy and at which you excel

I dreamt that you would let your Dad and me be your friends and mentors

I dreamt that you would live righteously and abstain from all that could ruin you

I dreamt that you would find a godly, gorgeous, loving woman with whom you enjoy life

I have dreamed all of this…

Praise God and thank you

for making your Mama’s dreams come true

French Toast

(I was going to title this “French Toast Funnies” but I couldn’t take the pressure of your expectations. Then I felt guilty, like I had a “fear of man” problem, so I compromised with this parenthetical aside.)

Things I thought/ said while I made french toast:

If I tell the family that I put the nutmeg in on purpose because it is fall, will they believe me?

Beaten eggs look like snot.

What is wrong with these people? There were 5 bags of bread that only had one or two pieces in them.

“Not riding your bike because you got hurt is crazy talk.”

Is that a spot of mold? Nah…

Well, I don’t know whether to tell the child that mermaids MAY be real, I have never seen one, or that they are make believe. Is three too early for a reality check?

“Woman have mustaches sometimes because their bodies don’t work right.”

My sons should become MMA fighters because they never stop fighting. Maybe I can channel this for good instead of evil.

I don’t even want french toast.